


Nibble, Nibble, Gnaw

by ladydragon76



Series: PrimeScream Advent Challenge 2013 [1]
Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Generation One
Genre: Fanfiction, M/M, Rating: PG-13, character: optimus prime, character: starscream, genre: crack, genre: humor, verse: g1
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-01
Updated: 2013-12-01
Packaged: 2018-01-03 05:19:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1066226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladydragon76/pseuds/ladydragon76
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><b>Summary:</b> Optimus and Starscream are a little lost in a forest.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nibble, Nibble, Gnaw

**Author's Note:**

> **‘Verse:** G1  
>  **Series:** None  
>  **Rating:** PG-13  
>  **Characters:** Optimus Prime, Starscream  
>  **Warnings:** Oh Gods, the crack.  
>  **Notes:** For the LJ comm, [primescream's Advent Challenge](http://primescream.livejournal.com/31403.html).  
>  **The Prompt:** _Gingerbread_

“We’re going to rust out before you find the way back to your shuttle! Why, of all the planets, do we have to get stuck on one with all these slagging _trees_! I _hate_ vegetation! It gets stuck in seams and lodged in vents! My thrusters are _filthy_! This is incredibly tedious. Where is that damn shuttle already? You know this is _all_ your fault! If you hadn’t come in, blasters blazing, and destroyed the frelling space bridge controls, we could be back to Earth by now! Just what were you doing here anyway? Why in the Pit would the Autobots send their precious Prime off to the aft end of the galaxy all alone in a shuttle? Where did you park the damn thing? Do you even know where you’re going?”

A pause. “Are you listening to me?!”

Optimus sighed, and pushed another branch out of the way, resisting the urge to let it slap back into Starscream’s face. That wouldn’t do anything except make the incessant ranting shriller. Plus, he did feel a little guilty. He _had_ shot the space bridge controls, but only because Starscream dove out of the way.

Ironhide was forever complaining that Optimus gave the Decepticons too much of a chance to hurt him, and look what happened the one time he took his old friend’s advice and shot first? Now he had to find the way back to his shuttle -and yes, _of course_ , he had to bring Starscream with him, he wasn’t cruel- through a dense alien forest of incredibly tall trees that he was lucky to even have stumbled across Starscream in, in the first place, and then get off the planet and _all_ the way back to Earth.

Confined in a small space with Starscream for that long? Primus save him. Or save Starscream, because Optimus in no way thought he was _that_ patient.

“You aren’t listening to me at all.”

“I’m listening,” Optimus replied. “I just see no point in answering rhetorical questions.”

Starscream sniffed. “Because you know I’m right.”

“Because nothing I say or do will get you to stop bitching, so why bother?” Optimus smirked beneath his mask at the indignant squawk that followed, and pushed yet another bushy tree branch out of his way. They were clearly going the wrong direction, so he was going to have to slowly angle them back. Optimus thought that maybe his shuttle was more to his left.

“Wait!” Starscream shoved past Optimus, going toward the right. “I see something. What’d you do, splash through a mud puddle trying to land? Pathetic groundpounder.”

“What?” Optimus followed out of curiosity, because, no, he really hadn’t landed in a mud puddle, or even landed badly at all. Whatever that was, it was too square to be his shuttle anyway.

Starscream pushed a branch aside, and Optimus only just caught it before it hit him. With a low growl, he went through the brush as well, then froze, staring in shock just behind Starscream.

“Huh.”

Starscream’s helm slowly turned to look up at Optimus. “‘Huh’? We step out of the woods to _this_ ,” his hands waved to emphasize ‘this’, “and all you can say is ‘huh’?!”

“I knew I shouldn’t have dropped bread crumbs. Pebbles would have been better.”

“I hate you,” Starscream hissed.

Optimus snickered as the seeker pushed past him, going back the way they’d come. “What? Shouldn’t we at least taste it? I’ve heard wonderful things about gingerbread. Starscream! Come back!” He chuckled, eying the gigantic gingerbread house and grabbing a couple image captures since no one would ever believe him if he didn’t have proof of _this_ , then hurried after Starscream.

“Wait up,” Optimus called. “It’s probably best that we don’t get separated here.”

Starscream snorted. “Idiot. I know this story. Fragging Skywarp.” He wheeled around, making Optimus jerk to a halt as a blue finger pointed right at his face. “I will _not_ be eaten by a some old female organic! Now you get me off this slagging planet, or I’ll make you regret the day you were sparked!”

Optimus led the way, and they did eventually find his shuttle, but Starscream was still blistering his audials when they broke free of the planet’s gravity for laughing and saying he’d make a cute pie.

**Author's Note:**

> **([Table of Contents](http://ladydragon76.livejournal.com/6214.html) ) ******


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